I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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