she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
