I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
