Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
