It's like God shit irony all over that family
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
