My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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