I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
