i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
