You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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