Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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