Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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