i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Randomize
