He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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