tell your sister to shave her snatch
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I think I sprained my soul last night
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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