She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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