Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize