Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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