She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I would fuck him just for his dog
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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