remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize