is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
He is an equal opportunity slut.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
We are two peas in an std pod
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
