I'm lost and stupid without you.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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