I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
