maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
