He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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