Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize