He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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