um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
