I wish my penis had an off switch
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
