I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
