how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Randomize
