your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
