Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
