how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
