You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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