So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
