hotel room ftw
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
there's paper in my vomit.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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