It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
