WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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