I could have mohawked her pubes.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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