Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
