I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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