I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize