At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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