ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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