READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
