There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize