if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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