Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
My ATM looks so different sober.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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