Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
