did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
