Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
