So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
