he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
