Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
