i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
