pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I just pynch a tree in the face
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
