you didnt know i had herpes?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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