So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
