and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
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