Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize