i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
