you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
