So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
