wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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