last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
