You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
