STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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