Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
where does the pee come out of this thing
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize