I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
