3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
