She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
