i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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