I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
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