There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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