Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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