I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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