Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
