Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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