I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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