He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
